Exercising Control

Back in January of 2008, my life started to spin out of control. My life was ruled by lawyers, investigators, counselors, reporters and the legal system. I was a bi-stander in my own life. The turmoil that my family was going through was beyond my scope of experience and I did not know how to handle any of it. Everything was a new experience, and every new experience came with a new set of stress and anxiety. I was going through the motions of daily living trying to keep things normal for the kids and appearing like I had things under control, but in the process I was completely and utterly out of control. My appetite was gone, I would cook meals and barely be able to stomach a few forkfuls. I noticed my weight was dropping because I wasn't eating. What was I supposed to do? I could afford to loose a few pounds, who couldn't, but I had to eat something. I then decided to go back to what I knew.

Years ago after the birth of my first son, I had a very difficult time losing all the baby weight and in that process discovered a weight lifting/sculpting program that I could do and fit into my schedule. In a very short time I had lost all the extra weight. So in this time of stress and uncertainty I went back to my weight program. I had used it on and off through out the years but this time I totally committed myself. Every morning without fail, give or take 15 minutes, over the course of a week I have worked every body part 2 times. It was the only thing I did for myself throughout the course of the day, but I did do it.

Started running and walking on the treadmill in the evenings when time permitted. Though not fully committed to the treadmill, every little bit helped. Before I knew it, I did have people asking out of concern about my weight loss. I explained that it started out because I wasn't taking care of myself and the stress of the situation but I turned that negative into a positive. I took advantage of the sudden weight loss and exercised every day.

Here I am over a year later and still lifting my weights every day. If I miss a day because of scheduling or location I feel really guilty. I have lost over 30 pounds and have dropped over 4 sizes. I have tried the treadmill again and with the warmer weather try to add aerobic activities, but not always successfully. My appetite has returned but not to the extent that it once was. However with all the additional muscle I can burn more calories without gaining back any of the weight. My cholesterol numbers are down and my doctor is actually pleased with my weight, (when does that ever happen) so I am actually in better health.

So some things good do happen in adversity. I have improved my overall health and have become a positive role model for my kids. But most of all, in a time of chaos and uncertainty I was able to control one, albeit small part of my life for the better.