We were an average family living live day by day, and then one day everything changes. Suddenly you become part of the legal system. Your days are consummed with investigators, lawyers and judges. My husband made some poor choices and now we are all paying the price. Suddenly my children and I are without a father and a husband. Is he an evil person? No just someone who made poor choices.
People that are still my friends say that they are praying for my family, does it help? I guess it does for that moment. It is in the difficult moments that I should remember all those people who say they are praying for us. But it is in the difficult moments that you seem to forget all the good and can only see the loneliness that seems so overwhelming at times that you can not catch your breath. You feel as if you are drowning, you can't breathe and no one is there to save you no matter how much you scream or struggle to climb out of the hole.
"I must remain strong for the children, but I must remember to take care of myself". Everyone has a piece of advice to offer, but does anyone tell me how to find the time to take care of myself when I am now doing the job of 2 people. Everyone offers to help, "whatever you need, anything." What I need is another income, someone else to share the family's responsibilities, family that is more supportive in actions not in words, and someone to do everything that needs to be done so I can take care of myself.
Ive been without my fiance for four days now. He made some bad decisions and failed to follow thru with responsibilites. While his incarceration is not a permanant or long term situation (we will eventually come up with the money to fix it) I am struggling with my emotions and extra responsibilities. I miss him every moment of the day. I am furious with him for not doing what he should have. I feel broken without him. I have written him every night. And the children are missing him as much as I do. I can feel myself slipping into depression and have so much to deal with that I dont have the time to deal with it.
ReplyDeletehow much time did your husband receive?
ReplyDeleteHe received a 5 year federal sentence. He will end up serving 4.5 years with the good time calculation.
Deletethats the time my husband got as well. hes been in a year but he qualifies for the RDAP program so im hoping that helps to take time off and a halfway house.
Deleteive really enjoyed keeping up with your journey its a difficult thign to go through and at times you feel all alone :/ its nice to have support. Thank you
It is difficult and you don't always have the support that others who "are without a spouse" get, like with a death or deployment. Your husband did something WRONG so it seems to give people the "out" to not help like they would in another circumstance. But there are those who do and it is those people who bless my life. The old saying, you really learn who your friends are, is very true. You learn who really has a strong character.
DeleteGood luck, I have heard the the RDAP takes off a nice chunk of time, so that is hopeful. The LCP program my husband completed was supposed to do the same (but that program does not come with a guarantee of time off...it should though). In the end, I think it might end up working out the best it could anyway. He will come straight home, the kids will be off from school and the family has the whole summer to readjust to life again. I am feeling good about the way things have played out.
More posts will be coming as the countdown continues. (Less than 60 days). Good luck to you and your family. It is not an easy road, but if it is right, it is worth it.
It is very true you do find out who your real friends and family are during these difficult times.i have two teenagers myself (from a previous marriage) but they do love him and he loves them as if they were his own so i've been blessed there he doesn't have any kids of his own yet but thatll change once he gets home and we get situated.
DeleteI'm excited for you I cant wait till we are on countdown. The Rdap is guaranteed time off they say UP to one year so thatll be wonderful at times realizing the amount of time they have to do can be hard to swallow. I'll be looking forward to more post :)
Do you mind me asking what your husband's charge is? My husband has been sentenced to 5 yrs for 1st degree vehicular homicide.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was ultimately charged with 1 count of possession of underage pornography.
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