Recently I had the honor of sitting through an awards ceremony for my daughter. She was required to submit an essay as well as two other peoples essays about her character. Out of almost 200 other applicants and seven different levels of review, she was chosen to be one of three winners for this academic year.
It was one of the most uplifting two hours we have spent in a long time. Everyone greeted us with such kindness and seemed genuinely excited to meet her and her family. It was truly an evening to "honor" the recipients as well as a very proud parent moment. Life is good.
Now, beyond the fact that my daughter was receiving this scholarship and award, I was impressed by the caliber of the organization sponsoring the award, other attendees and the speakers. They spoke of the quality of a persons character and all the traits that contribute to a persons positive character. One speaker sent out a challenge to everyone in the room to always ask "Am I making the wisest decision based on my previous experiences and where I want to be in the future?". We were told that we are all leaders and even the most introverted person will touch the lives of another 100,000 people in their lifetime. Though we are not perfect, we should strive to be a person of good character because when we are gone from this earth, people won't remember what kind of car you drove, how many things you could buy or what kind of clothes you wore. They will remember what kind of person you were and how you lived your life. Others will remember that you were a person of good character, a person of virtue, determination, humility, truthfulness and perseverance.
The components of good character is a long list and one that challenges us every day. I wish that everyone made choices and lived their lives based on the quality of their character. It would be wonderful if we were all judged based on our character today and not by the style of car we drove or the size of the house we lived in. How we live our lives and treat those around us should be so much more important. I am proud that all my children are young adults with great character and I am reminded that I too should strive everyday to be a model of great character for those around me. What a wonderful world this would be if we all cared about character.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
We All Should Care About Incarceration
My eyes are open now. Things that I would never see or care about now are so much more important to me. I am tuned into a side of life that a majority of the population turns a blind eye to. So I ask, when are we going to start caring about our justice system and how it affects so many more people than just the offender.
Everyday I learn about a new family just beginning the journey that I am on and my heart breaks all over again. The hurt, the loneliness, the darkness all come back in an instant. Then I look at how far we have come and I am able to look upon my life and know that I am blessed.
Part of why we were put here is to help those that follow. I spend a portion of every day keeping up on the new developments, political issues or the e-mails from friends. I am actively involved in trying to fix a system that is both misguided and broken. It is like rolling a large boulder up a hill but there are days when we make some progress.
My question is, when is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the US has the highest incarceration rate in the world? When are people going to realize that using incarceration as a solution for every problem will only lead to greater problems and issues for our society down the road? Even some politicians are beginning to see the light that mass incarceration is not the solution. It is time to understand that this will eventually effect us all in some way. Some of us are directly touched by it, while tax payers, businesses and governments will feel the side effects of a population that is tainted with "prison time" on their resume. Incarceration is funded with tax dollars as well as social programs to help the families and the newly released who can't find work. I would much rather have my money going toward treatment to prevent re offending than simply punishment.
As Christians, the Corporal Works of Mercy teach us to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit the imprisoned, and bury the dead. And the Spiritual Works ask us to instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, admonish the sinners, bear wrongs patiently, forgive offenses willingly, comfort the afflicted and pray for the living and the dead. It is not a salad bar that you should pick and choose which to follow. Each one is just as important as the next. Yet as a society we forget the imprisoned and are slow or even unwilling to forgive at all. Forgiveness should not depend on the degree of hurt and every soul deserves a chance to change and be a better human being.
I do not sit in judgement. That is not my job. I am too busy trying to raise my children to be fine, charitable, successful and grateful adults. I can put my head down at night knowing that I have been there for someone who really needed me, someone that society shuns or scolds for their past. My world if full of joy, and happiness and yes, many ex-offenders.
Everyday I learn about a new family just beginning the journey that I am on and my heart breaks all over again. The hurt, the loneliness, the darkness all come back in an instant. Then I look at how far we have come and I am able to look upon my life and know that I am blessed.
Part of why we were put here is to help those that follow. I spend a portion of every day keeping up on the new developments, political issues or the e-mails from friends. I am actively involved in trying to fix a system that is both misguided and broken. It is like rolling a large boulder up a hill but there are days when we make some progress.
My question is, when is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the US has the highest incarceration rate in the world? When are people going to realize that using incarceration as a solution for every problem will only lead to greater problems and issues for our society down the road? Even some politicians are beginning to see the light that mass incarceration is not the solution. It is time to understand that this will eventually effect us all in some way. Some of us are directly touched by it, while tax payers, businesses and governments will feel the side effects of a population that is tainted with "prison time" on their resume. Incarceration is funded with tax dollars as well as social programs to help the families and the newly released who can't find work. I would much rather have my money going toward treatment to prevent re offending than simply punishment.
As Christians, the Corporal Works of Mercy teach us to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit the imprisoned, and bury the dead. And the Spiritual Works ask us to instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, admonish the sinners, bear wrongs patiently, forgive offenses willingly, comfort the afflicted and pray for the living and the dead. It is not a salad bar that you should pick and choose which to follow. Each one is just as important as the next. Yet as a society we forget the imprisoned and are slow or even unwilling to forgive at all. Forgiveness should not depend on the degree of hurt and every soul deserves a chance to change and be a better human being.
I do not sit in judgement. That is not my job. I am too busy trying to raise my children to be fine, charitable, successful and grateful adults. I can put my head down at night knowing that I have been there for someone who really needed me, someone that society shuns or scolds for their past. My world if full of joy, and happiness and yes, many ex-offenders.
Monday, April 27, 2015
A Point of Light Brings Hope
I read a lot!! I read books when I find the time to sit and enjoy them. I read for work, for daily necessity and I read to stay informed. These days I find myself reading about politics and issues related to my family and our situation. I care and I want to change things and to do that I must learn all there is to know. Part of my daily routine is to read all the relevant articles about sex offenders. Articles about their management, recidivism, restrictions, and hope for the future when common sense wins out. What, do you not think there is hope for the future? Oh but there is.
Take a look on any given day to the headlines that continue to falsely scare the public of the evil of all of those labeled as sex offenders. Read the articles about how politicians are protecting us and saving our children by passing legislation that says sex offenders can not live near us. Watch the eleven o'clock news highlights about the sex offender, who committed his crimes 15 years ago, served his time and has been crime free since, but now he wants to live three doors away from a church with a day care center. Make sure you listen and learn that his crime was not even against a child but someone is in a uproar over where he wants to live. Turn on your radio and hear about the group of high school students who will now be labeled as sex offenders all their lives because one of them sent "bad" photos to the others.
Now, after you have listened to the media on how horrible all these sex offenders are, and how dangerous it is to have them living among us, take a breath, clear your head and look for the hope. Take the time to sit back and start reading the comments. A greater percentage of the comments are in support of common sense thinking. The true facts and statistics come out in the comments from the general public (not the media). The reason these restriction and laws don't make sense is spelled out to share for those looking to be enlightened. Now there is still the occasional draconian comment to kill or castrate them all but they are becoming the exception rather than the rule. This recent entry for Grits for Breakfast is a great example http://gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com/2015/04/texas-voices-standing-against-sex.html.
Is it because people are educating themselves about the high costs of government and how funds could be better spent? Is is because the general population is suddenly concerned about the welfare of those labeled sex offenders? Or is is because as another day passes, more and more people are being personally affected by these laws and restrictions? As the sex offender population grows so does the size of their advocacy groups. More wives, mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers and children suddenly have skin in the game. They now care.
I don't really care why the tide seems to be turning, I just feel that it is. Eventually the media and politicians will have no choice but to start listening. What is now a quiet whisper will someday be a deafening roar. So there is hope for change, you just need to look for it hidden within the dark.
Take a look on any given day to the headlines that continue to falsely scare the public of the evil of all of those labeled as sex offenders. Read the articles about how politicians are protecting us and saving our children by passing legislation that says sex offenders can not live near us. Watch the eleven o'clock news highlights about the sex offender, who committed his crimes 15 years ago, served his time and has been crime free since, but now he wants to live three doors away from a church with a day care center. Make sure you listen and learn that his crime was not even against a child but someone is in a uproar over where he wants to live. Turn on your radio and hear about the group of high school students who will now be labeled as sex offenders all their lives because one of them sent "bad" photos to the others.
Now, after you have listened to the media on how horrible all these sex offenders are, and how dangerous it is to have them living among us, take a breath, clear your head and look for the hope. Take the time to sit back and start reading the comments. A greater percentage of the comments are in support of common sense thinking. The true facts and statistics come out in the comments from the general public (not the media). The reason these restriction and laws don't make sense is spelled out to share for those looking to be enlightened. Now there is still the occasional draconian comment to kill or castrate them all but they are becoming the exception rather than the rule. This recent entry for Grits for Breakfast is a great example http://gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com/2015/04/texas-voices-standing-against-sex.html.
Is it because people are educating themselves about the high costs of government and how funds could be better spent? Is is because the general population is suddenly concerned about the welfare of those labeled sex offenders? Or is is because as another day passes, more and more people are being personally affected by these laws and restrictions? As the sex offender population grows so does the size of their advocacy groups. More wives, mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers and children suddenly have skin in the game. They now care.
I don't really care why the tide seems to be turning, I just feel that it is. Eventually the media and politicians will have no choice but to start listening. What is now a quiet whisper will someday be a deafening roar. So there is hope for change, you just need to look for it hidden within the dark.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Hoping for a Judgement Free World.
Is it a pipe dream? Am I fooling myself and being naive? Why do we live in a world where people feel the need to put labels on each other and then make judgements based on those labels? Since the historians started recording the happenings around them, we have learned that people have used labels for each other and then used those labels to persecute others.
Labels are based on wealth, color, religion, political party. beliefs, histories or sexual preference, and too many more to list. Then we make assumptions on someone based on that label. If your poor, you are viewed one way, and if your rich, you are viewed another. We hate and fight with others based on their religious beliefs especially if they are significantly different.
You would have thought that the civil war, or the civil rights movement would have taught us that judging others based on a label was not an accurate way to view others. North or South, Black or White, we are all still human beings walking this earth waking up every day, trying to make the most of what we have. We all make mistakes, struggle to find our place in this world and laugh or cry when things happen. We are no different whether we are old or young, rich or poor, or married or single.
Am I always right? Is the way I choose to live my life better than the way someone else lives theirs? It is not my place to judge or tell them they are wrong. I love to engage people and talk about our differences, learn why they do what they do and make the choices that they do. In an open dialogue we both learn and can grow. I am not so arrogant that I think my ideas and opinions are the only ones. I live my life learning and growing every day. I do not assume that I have all the answers.
So my question is, why do so many people find it necessary to stereotype? They like or hate someone before they have even met them simply by a label that we have in our minds. I would love to live in a world where people are treated by how they treat others and live their lives and not the religion they follow or previous choices they have made. I make my choices by my own experiences with people, not from a label or what someone else tells me and because of that, I have many outstanding individuals as friends that I may never have met. My life is richer having these people in my life. Our common interests bring us together and our differences enrich our lives by sharing and teaching.
Would I feel this way without my own history? I was always one who wanted to make my one impressions of people, not believe rumor or what other people say. But I do think my history has made me more aware of the labels and being less judgmental. I have come to believe that it is not my place to judge how others live there lives but it is my responsibility to live my life the best way that I know how. Doing that requires my full attention and a great amount of energy anyway. My life is too short worrying about others, I would rather relish in the joy of my own.
Labels are based on wealth, color, religion, political party. beliefs, histories or sexual preference, and too many more to list. Then we make assumptions on someone based on that label. If your poor, you are viewed one way, and if your rich, you are viewed another. We hate and fight with others based on their religious beliefs especially if they are significantly different.
You would have thought that the civil war, or the civil rights movement would have taught us that judging others based on a label was not an accurate way to view others. North or South, Black or White, we are all still human beings walking this earth waking up every day, trying to make the most of what we have. We all make mistakes, struggle to find our place in this world and laugh or cry when things happen. We are no different whether we are old or young, rich or poor, or married or single.
Am I always right? Is the way I choose to live my life better than the way someone else lives theirs? It is not my place to judge or tell them they are wrong. I love to engage people and talk about our differences, learn why they do what they do and make the choices that they do. In an open dialogue we both learn and can grow. I am not so arrogant that I think my ideas and opinions are the only ones. I live my life learning and growing every day. I do not assume that I have all the answers.
So my question is, why do so many people find it necessary to stereotype? They like or hate someone before they have even met them simply by a label that we have in our minds. I would love to live in a world where people are treated by how they treat others and live their lives and not the religion they follow or previous choices they have made. I make my choices by my own experiences with people, not from a label or what someone else tells me and because of that, I have many outstanding individuals as friends that I may never have met. My life is richer having these people in my life. Our common interests bring us together and our differences enrich our lives by sharing and teaching.
Would I feel this way without my own history? I was always one who wanted to make my one impressions of people, not believe rumor or what other people say. But I do think my history has made me more aware of the labels and being less judgmental. I have come to believe that it is not my place to judge how others live there lives but it is my responsibility to live my life the best way that I know how. Doing that requires my full attention and a great amount of energy anyway. My life is too short worrying about others, I would rather relish in the joy of my own.
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