I suddenly realized it has been a while since I have posted, but it seems that the drama never ends. We received an offer on our home and did some major house hunting so we would have a place to live when ours sold. We did not find exactly what we wanted, but we were still very happy with our choice. It gave us a chance to rethink how we plan on spending our time in the future as the family grows and changes. Turns out we won't be spending hours mowing the lawn...haha, but the house is a beautiful American Foursquare that we are excited to put our touches on. And it comes with room for everyone to visit and sit around the table laughing.
As we were progressing with all the requirements for the purchase of our new home, we did not hear anything about our buyers, I became concerned and questioned our realtor. She said not to worry, and one week later I see that our listing status is now changed to active again. I got a text from a friend who has a family member who was excited to see the house because they thought is was sold. I told her "So did I". My realtor then informed us that the buyers pre-qualified financing didn't happen. Now our house has been sold twice with the buyers backing out for one reason or another. There goes our January closing date.
However, we just had two people come through the house and both loved it. One has submitted an offer (not good) and we have countered and we are hoping the other family submits some kind of offer quickly. Either way, that pushes back our closing our our new home. But after all this time what is one more month?
The time has been good. The wounds are slowly starting to heal. When we are all together it feels like a whole family. The white elephant in the room is shrinking. The only thing left is to get us all under one roof. The old adage that nothing worthwhile is ever easy seems to hold in everything that we do.
There was so much more to this story, issues with the purchase of our new home, that we thought we might loose it as well but that all seems ironed out. There is no way to put into words the emotional roller coaster that we experience just in one day sometimes.
But on another good note, a friend recently informed me that her loved one had his designation hearing for his SO level and received a level I. I was just as excited for her as I was for my husband when we heard the judge give him a level I. Here in New York, level Is stay off the public registry and some counties don't even post your photos so it makes life a bit easier. This is after the Probation Department had informed us and her family as well that you could not fight the designation and most of the pornography guys were getting a level II designation. We fought, and we won. They fought and they won.
The message today is to keep fighting for what you think is right. Nothing will happen overnight but eventually things will change. As more people push back, the swell gets bigger and hopefully others start to learn the truth and that is when we see the real change.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
I'll Care When You Care.
Do I care that the federal government is stripping away civil rights when it may be prohibiting travelers from entering or leaving our country? Everyone is running around worried about illnesses that might be brought into our country so they want to close the boarders. Or maybe the government should limit travel. They could prevent US citizens from traveling freely around the country and the world. How dare the government impose on it's citizens, this is a free country after all. Or demand that the government close the boarders and keep out all foreigners and travelers so we stay safe.
Should I care that the government wants to limit the number of firearms we can carry or possess, or put restrictions on the type of gun and ammunition that can be used? Gun rights activists are in an uproar over the government saying you can not own a gun that shoots 100 rounds in the blink of an eye. The battle cry is that it is against everything the constitution stands for.
As citizens we demand so much from our government, protect me from outside invasions like illnesses but don't stop me from my constitutional rights. Everyone wants their government to take care of all of their needs but don't step on any of their rights in the process.
Well, to all you out there screaming right now about the government in your lives, I tell you that I will care about what the government is doing with your civil rights when you wake up and care that right now, today, in this country, our government can legally tell people where they can and cannot live. They can tell people they have to move, or that they can not buy or rent a home in certain places. Never mind the freedom to travel between countries in your free time or to own a small armory in your home, lets talk about the basic right to a place to call home.
When the general population starts to care that the government can regulate where those labeled sex offenders can live, then I will start to care about all those other rights that everyone is so outraged over. The basic right to have a home trumps the freedom to travel in my leisure time or stockpile weapons. Trying to sell our home because the government says my husband cannot live there because he could look out our windows and see the park. Never mind that legally there are no residency restrictions in our community that would prevent him from living there just a government employee who supposedly has that power. We have to sell our home and find a new place to live but that new place cannot be near a school or within site of a park, playground or any other place children may hang out. It is amazing how many pieces of property fall within these guidelines. It has been a process that so far has taken over a year and hopefully has a near end in sight but who knows right now.
So to all of you who claim to support the constitution and scream when you feel your rights are being infringed upon I challenge you to get outraged when anyone's rights are being violated, not just those you deem worthy. Most of the people on the sex offender registry never touched a child or another human being and have already been punished in some way for their crime. Let them have the basic rights of every citizen, a place to call home.
As a warning to you all, there is a list of sex offenders out there, some communities want a public list of gun owners, or a list of child abusers, drunk drivers, drug users, or domestic violence offenders . It won't be long before everyone's rights will be whittled away and the government will be inside everyone's home. Because when you tolerate it for one class of citizen it won't be long before the power hungry believe that you are a risk to their well being and deserve to have your rights limited as well.
Should I care that the government wants to limit the number of firearms we can carry or possess, or put restrictions on the type of gun and ammunition that can be used? Gun rights activists are in an uproar over the government saying you can not own a gun that shoots 100 rounds in the blink of an eye. The battle cry is that it is against everything the constitution stands for.
As citizens we demand so much from our government, protect me from outside invasions like illnesses but don't stop me from my constitutional rights. Everyone wants their government to take care of all of their needs but don't step on any of their rights in the process.
Well, to all you out there screaming right now about the government in your lives, I tell you that I will care about what the government is doing with your civil rights when you wake up and care that right now, today, in this country, our government can legally tell people where they can and cannot live. They can tell people they have to move, or that they can not buy or rent a home in certain places. Never mind the freedom to travel between countries in your free time or to own a small armory in your home, lets talk about the basic right to a place to call home.
When the general population starts to care that the government can regulate where those labeled sex offenders can live, then I will start to care about all those other rights that everyone is so outraged over. The basic right to have a home trumps the freedom to travel in my leisure time or stockpile weapons. Trying to sell our home because the government says my husband cannot live there because he could look out our windows and see the park. Never mind that legally there are no residency restrictions in our community that would prevent him from living there just a government employee who supposedly has that power. We have to sell our home and find a new place to live but that new place cannot be near a school or within site of a park, playground or any other place children may hang out. It is amazing how many pieces of property fall within these guidelines. It has been a process that so far has taken over a year and hopefully has a near end in sight but who knows right now.
So to all of you who claim to support the constitution and scream when you feel your rights are being infringed upon I challenge you to get outraged when anyone's rights are being violated, not just those you deem worthy. Most of the people on the sex offender registry never touched a child or another human being and have already been punished in some way for their crime. Let them have the basic rights of every citizen, a place to call home.
As a warning to you all, there is a list of sex offenders out there, some communities want a public list of gun owners, or a list of child abusers, drunk drivers, drug users, or domestic violence offenders . It won't be long before everyone's rights will be whittled away and the government will be inside everyone's home. Because when you tolerate it for one class of citizen it won't be long before the power hungry believe that you are a risk to their well being and deserve to have your rights limited as well.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
A Mother's Final Lesson
Five years ago this week was one of the worst weeks I have ever had to live through. It was in my urgency to get a call to my husband to inform him that my mom had passed away that I discovered he had been sent to the SHU (Secure Housing Unit) for getting in a fight. I had to face the passing of my mother without the presence of my husband as well as worry for his safety.
It was a difficult time and as with most families there is always turmoil between family members, and for me it is with my sister. She certainly did not do what she could to make the best of the situation for any of us. If she could stir the pot, she did and as is often the case, I just back away and let her go. I did put my foot down about a few things that I felt were important and I managed to do it with out yelling or insulting anyone.
It took me until the morning of the funeral to finally speak with my husband and find out what was going on. I had called the facility numerous times and would not get an answer or a call back. I could not even get a confirmation that I was calling a good phone number. It was just as we were heading out the door for the funeral that I finally got the call and he told me rather quickly, what had happened. and where he was.
I volunteered to speak at my mom's funeral, and I was told that I did a fine job. I was proud to be able to offer some last words for my mother and share some of my memories. Spending time with my extended family was a blessing and a salvation. I am not sure how I managed to get through it all with my blood pressure in the normal range and still getting moving every day but laughing with all my family is always something to cherish.
My husband ended up spending about 30 days in the SHU and completely missed another major life event. I could not even speak to him because of the limited phone privileges they have when they are in the SHU. Much later he shared more of the story and divulged the extent of his injuries, which I am glad I did not know at the time.
Here I am, five years down the road, and my life is in a much different place. We are all moving further and further away from that time. Slowly our lives are changing. Yet there are days when I wish I could pick up the phone and still call my mom. I go visit my family home, and nothing is the same but no one can take my memories. Sometimes I wonder if it was her final lesson for me, if I could survive all that in one short period of time with everything people were expecting from me, I could survive anything. I like to think she is with me and is proud of me, how far I have come and how I have handled all that has been thrown at me. Peace.
It was a difficult time and as with most families there is always turmoil between family members, and for me it is with my sister. She certainly did not do what she could to make the best of the situation for any of us. If she could stir the pot, she did and as is often the case, I just back away and let her go. I did put my foot down about a few things that I felt were important and I managed to do it with out yelling or insulting anyone.
It took me until the morning of the funeral to finally speak with my husband and find out what was going on. I had called the facility numerous times and would not get an answer or a call back. I could not even get a confirmation that I was calling a good phone number. It was just as we were heading out the door for the funeral that I finally got the call and he told me rather quickly, what had happened. and where he was.
I volunteered to speak at my mom's funeral, and I was told that I did a fine job. I was proud to be able to offer some last words for my mother and share some of my memories. Spending time with my extended family was a blessing and a salvation. I am not sure how I managed to get through it all with my blood pressure in the normal range and still getting moving every day but laughing with all my family is always something to cherish.
My husband ended up spending about 30 days in the SHU and completely missed another major life event. I could not even speak to him because of the limited phone privileges they have when they are in the SHU. Much later he shared more of the story and divulged the extent of his injuries, which I am glad I did not know at the time.
Here I am, five years down the road, and my life is in a much different place. We are all moving further and further away from that time. Slowly our lives are changing. Yet there are days when I wish I could pick up the phone and still call my mom. I go visit my family home, and nothing is the same but no one can take my memories. Sometimes I wonder if it was her final lesson for me, if I could survive all that in one short period of time with everything people were expecting from me, I could survive anything. I like to think she is with me and is proud of me, how far I have come and how I have handled all that has been thrown at me. Peace.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Just Laugh!!
I can cry or I can laugh and there are days when I can do nothing but laugh. Last week my husband got a call from the temp agency early Monday morning and was told not to return to work. He had been terminated for attendance issues. HAHA.
He had ten and a half months of employment with the same company through this temp agency and had never been late or missed a day of work. He had however missed the time that he was required to attend his sex offender counseling. Which he had gotten an OK through the actual company as long as he provided documentation that he was attending counseling. He had a written note for every counseling session that he missed work time for. And the kicker is, he had not missed any work in over a month since the counseling had finally added a day session that he could attend. His direct supervisor is dumb founded. He was one of her best employees and told him that no one will even discuss him with her. She wanted him back and does not understand any of this. She was aware of his counseling and she had also been given copies of his doctor's notes.
He has filed for unemployment but we are waiting for the temp agency to fight it based on a work issue and not just lack of work, but we are fully armed with all the supporting documentation. Back to the grind and working full time to find another job. Unemployment would be nice but we are not counting on it. The up side is he now has more current, real life work experience.
So I say again, I could either laugh or cry. Today I choose to laugh!!! There is something better out there, I have to believe that. The housing situation has not changed, no one is interested in our house and he is still living with friends. It is all beginning to wear a bit thin, but I am trying to keep positive thoughts. School is back in full swing and looking forward to my second senior year and college shopping.
Wake up, go to work, keep a family together and keep positive thoughts everyday and laugh. Laugh in the face of adversity. I should be laughing all the time then...lol.
He had ten and a half months of employment with the same company through this temp agency and had never been late or missed a day of work. He had however missed the time that he was required to attend his sex offender counseling. Which he had gotten an OK through the actual company as long as he provided documentation that he was attending counseling. He had a written note for every counseling session that he missed work time for. And the kicker is, he had not missed any work in over a month since the counseling had finally added a day session that he could attend. His direct supervisor is dumb founded. He was one of her best employees and told him that no one will even discuss him with her. She wanted him back and does not understand any of this. She was aware of his counseling and she had also been given copies of his doctor's notes.
He has filed for unemployment but we are waiting for the temp agency to fight it based on a work issue and not just lack of work, but we are fully armed with all the supporting documentation. Back to the grind and working full time to find another job. Unemployment would be nice but we are not counting on it. The up side is he now has more current, real life work experience.
So I say again, I could either laugh or cry. Today I choose to laugh!!! There is something better out there, I have to believe that. The housing situation has not changed, no one is interested in our house and he is still living with friends. It is all beginning to wear a bit thin, but I am trying to keep positive thoughts. School is back in full swing and looking forward to my second senior year and college shopping.
Wake up, go to work, keep a family together and keep positive thoughts everyday and laugh. Laugh in the face of adversity. I should be laughing all the time then...lol.
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