Two are Better Than One

Shortly after my first son was born, my husband had to attend a three week, out of town training for his job. He came home only one weekend in that whole three weeks. I had one small child and was trying to work a full time job. I had a real hard time balancing everything at that time. It was at that time that I decided that I would do whatever was in my power to never be a single parent. I made a choice at that time that I would do whatever I could to make sure my children had the support and encouragement of 2 parents. That three weeks was the worst three weeks I had ever spent, until recently.

The decision I made after that experience is what kept me with my husband another 14 years. I saw how hard life would be without a partner and knew I did not want to travel down that road. I stayed with him through the rough patches because I knew any rough patch with a partner is better than a rough patch alone. We worked through difficult times, experienced good times and still remained a whole parental unit. It was worth every fight, every argument and every disagreement. The worries were shared, the burdens cut in half, and the pressure was not so intense. The children benefited everyday. If I had not stayed, I would not have 2 more beautiful children that bring me joy every moment of my life.

But now? Now I am that single parent that I struggled so hard to not become. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and feel like my legs are giving out from under me. I have no one to share the worries, the stress, and the pressure. It is all mine now. No one to share the joy, the moments of pride, or the quiet moments of reflection and laughter. It is my path to follow alone. What a strange twist of fate, that the one thing in my life that I worked the hardest at, is the one thing in life I failed to keep.

I realize that I am not the first single parent in the world, and that I certainly won't be the last, but I have to wonder why people would choose this path. I was not given a choice, it was chosen for me. I look out at the world and wonder why people seem to give up so easily when things don't seem to be an easy fix. It is easier to walk away than try to fix what is broken I guess, but I have never been one to take the easy road, just the road that would get me where I want to be no matter what direction it took.

My path has taken a drastic turn, but I will continue on it in the hopes that I could still reach the same destination some day, although not the way that I had planned. And yes, I still believe that two are better than one.