I can cry or I can laugh and there are days when I can do nothing but laugh. Last week my husband got a call from the temp agency early Monday morning and was told not to return to work. He had been terminated for attendance issues. HAHA.
He had ten and a half months of employment with the same company through this temp agency and had never been late or missed a day of work. He had however missed the time that he was required to attend his sex offender counseling. Which he had gotten an OK through the actual company as long as he provided documentation that he was attending counseling. He had a written note for every counseling session that he missed work time for. And the kicker is, he had not missed any work in over a month since the counseling had finally added a day session that he could attend. His direct supervisor is dumb founded. He was one of her best employees and told him that no one will even discuss him with her. She wanted him back and does not understand any of this. She was aware of his counseling and she had also been given copies of his doctor's notes.
He has filed for unemployment but we are waiting for the temp agency to fight it based on a work issue and not just lack of work, but we are fully armed with all the supporting documentation. Back to the grind and working full time to find another job. Unemployment would be nice but we are not counting on it. The up side is he now has more current, real life work experience.
So I say again, I could either laugh or cry. Today I choose to laugh!!! There is something better out there, I have to believe that. The housing situation has not changed, no one is interested in our house and he is still living with friends. It is all beginning to wear a bit thin, but I am trying to keep positive thoughts. School is back in full swing and looking forward to my second senior year and college shopping.
Wake up, go to work, keep a family together and keep positive thoughts everyday and laugh. Laugh in the face of adversity. I should be laughing all the time then...lol.
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I applaud your attitude so very much! You are of course completely right but I'm not sure I could do it. I'm already feeling totally beaten some days and we still have 2 1/2 years before his release date!. I am of course encouraged by your strength and fortitude, I'm just at the stage where I am not even sure I want to deal with all of this anymore. I love my husband but there is so much ahead of us that I wish we didn't have to deal with. My children (his stepchildren) are split in how they feel about him. One son and his wife are supportive in every way, as is my daughter and her family. My older son (who has 3 little girls) is not supportive at all. He feels he should rot in prison. Sad thing is this son is the Christian! Ah well....I am tired of trying to keep everyone happy etc.....I am feeling very selfish lately and just want to have a pity party for myself! Hahaha!! Some days I do not feel sorry for my husband at all.....he had a problem that he ignored for years and chose not to change.....BUT, somehow I know I love him because I have so much hope that this will ultimately improve our marriage and our bonds. Other days I wonder ......
ReplyDeleteThank you though for your blog and your thoughts....they may not always be encouraging but they are truthful and honest and I so appreciate that!!
Blessing to you and your family!!
I feel for you. My husband is serving a fifteen year sentence. I was left raising our two sons ages 12 And 13. It's been a year since he was convicted. I'm a mixture of emotions. I have hated him for what he did to us and himself and our boys yet i struggle with the fact that in lost without him. On one hand I've been freed from his habit And worrying about him. I've gained my independence again yet i feel lost without him. Reality just kicked in after a year of shock And putting my emotions aside. I'm finally dealing with the reality that he's not coming home for a long time. And the fear that he norvinam going to be the same. How do you cope with this? I'm lost.......
ReplyDeleteI love your attitude on this situation. It has to be incredibly difficult. You're right, "laughing in the face of adversity" is a great way to look at our lives sometime. I'll remember that phrase.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being an encouragement to the families of inmates :)
i applaud your attitude also. I sppent a few minutes trying to absorb the circunstances of your predicament. That being done I did not read (unless I missed it) what was your husbands excuse and catalyst for his involvement with Child Porn? I have specific motives for asking. It seems universally agreed apon that for a healthy re-entry from prison and a successful outlook ALL members of the immediate family need intensive expensive long term treatment . While your introspection and attitude seem more well adjusted than most, I did notice one comment that made me think twice. You said if your family could cope with the incarceration of your family then all roads ahead will be easier, not a direct quote but an inference I got. You also mentioned his tier level doesnt require a public registration. While I am sure that will make your presence in the community more palpable, does he have any other restrictions he and you must abide by?
ReplyDeleteMy husband had an admitted addiction to legal porn that, given its nature and the availability on the internet today, lead to riskier and riskier photos. He was/is not interested in seeing underage porn, it became a side effect of looking for the edgier and edgier legal stuff.
DeleteAnd I do agree that counseling is very important for a family and the inmate to succeed unfortunately the federal justice system does not agree. We are doing all that we can within our power and resources so we can all move beyond this.
I do think the incarceration was an extremely difficult time and it has been "easier" to have him out. It does not mean that it has been a cake walk by any stretch of the imagination but relative to five years incarceration, it is easier.
Yes, he has way too many restrictions. All of which are tied to his probation restrictions. I can not think of any that are tied to his level other than actually having to register with law enforcement.