A Message of Hope for the New Year

The holidays are such a difficult time of the year.  It seems that I am responsible for making the holidays a special time of the year for so many.  I have to keep the holidays special for the kids which goes without saying, but it seems that the responsibilities for that at work have also fallen on my shoulders.  Normally I do not mind but you do not realize how much it takes out of you when no one is infusing you with the spirit.  Well, I did manage to get through it all, today begins a new year and what do I wake up to?  This awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that I do not completely understand where it comes from.

I am dog sitting for a friend of mine and had her pacing around waiting to go outside.  I did not even want to go to Sunday services.  Why? I ask myself and no answer comes to me.  I could think of no reason not to go.  Things have been going well considering and I have been enjoying a few days without work.  I have been getting things accomplished, finishing some wonderful books, spending time with the kids, so why do I feel so off.  That does not matter to the dog, she needed to go out and no one else was up to take her out.  So I threw on my coat and sneakers and out the door we headed.

Of course we are out walking during the prime "going to church" time.  As we start down the street I feel the tears start to well up and before you know it I am crying as we are walking down the shoulder of the road.  Sometimes I feel like a soda bottle that has been shaken,  it can be left alone for awhile but it eventually needs to be opened or it will burst.  What a sight I must have been, walking down the street in my red Christmas pajamas, winter coat, walking a small dog and tears running down my face.

But the title of this entry is "A Message of Hope" so you must be asking where is the hope in all this, let me continue.  As we headed down the street I was trying to figure out what is the source of these feelings when I noticed what a beautiful morning it was.  Considering we live in snow country we have had little to no snow this winter, of which I am glad that I do not have to shovel or drive in it, although I am hoping for enough snow when we make our winter ski trips.  The sun was shining beautifully, the sky was a crystal shade of blue with white, thin, wispy clouds.  It was not too cold or too windy.  My winter coat was even a bit too heavy for the temperature.  I could not have asked for a better morning or a better way to start the New Year, especially since I was up and moving (exercising) on the first day of the new year.

Was someone sending me a message? No matter how we feel at any given moment, there is always hope that things will get better.  No matter how I felt inside the beauty outside could not keep me from feeling bad forever.  I immediately began to think of all the things I am blessed with; being here with my children, a husband who loves me, everyone is healthy, we have a roof over our heads, I have a job that keeps that roof and a special circle of friends who fit me into their busy lives to make sure we are doing OK.  What more do I need?

A hope for the New Year that this one will be better than the last.  As each year passes we get closer to being a family again.  But our lives are constantly changing so even then things will never be what they were.  My oldest is getting his acceptance letters for colleges, none of which are close to home.  As someone who went away to school myself I am excited for him, but as his mother my heart is breaking that he will be so far away.  Everything changes.  I have struggled to keep a foundation for our family, and when I look at us as an outsider would, I can see that we are doing well enough. 

The message for me today, I could have gone to Sunday services and had someone else tell me that the future is what we make it and that it can only get better but I think God had a greater plan.  He needed me to realize that for myself, to stop and see the beauty that is there for us to see anytime we stop and really open our eyes.  He needed me to know for myself that the future is bright and the lessons we have learned are all part of His greater plan.  As long as there is hope in your heart then you have everything you could possibly need.  So back to the title, I wish everyone a year filled with hope, with hope comes joy, happiness and unlimited potential.



...when I got back from my walk,  the weather for the rest of the day was a weather alert for snow, high winds and lakeshore flooding...I had a good laugh!