Where The System is Failing

Even though there seems to be large breaks between my posts, it does not mean that things are not happening.  Contrary to that thought, things change almost on a daily basis.  There are days where I am so frustrated and ready to give up and then the next moment everything is OK for the time being. 

In all of the "grayness" that we live, because we never really know what will happen next, I have come to realize that the system is not set up to help offenders successfully rehabilitate and once again become productive members of society.  I believe that it is the goal of probation to push, make demands and  stretch the offenders to the point that they have not other recourse than to violate some term of their release, so they can be sent back.

In the time my husband has been released, he has been removed from our home because probation did not like how close to the park we live, we have been denied family counseling so it would not "interfere" with his mandatory treatment, and he found employment that fit his treatment schedule only to be told that to move on to the next phase of treatment he will have to change his work schedule.  None of this fits into the stated policy that to succeed upon release any offender needs a home, support system and employment. 

I sometimes wonder if they continue to push and push until you finally break and they can violate you and return you to prison, or they figure if you can put up with all the weighty restrictions then they figure you will eventually be fine.  But in the meantime our family seems to be suffering and it is becoming the next victim in all of this.  We have tried talking with probation, his mandatory counselor and attorneys to see what can be done to help the situation, and we have received no positive help from anyone within the system.

I would be lying if I said our life is perfect.  It is hanging on by a thread and I am not sure how much longer it will last.  Now to be fair, we just got approval last week to attend family counseling but as of today I join the ranks of those with no health insurance.  Counseling is not free and it is what we really need to keep moving forward.  There are so many issues that need to be addressed and discussed so that the hurt feelings can be mended and conflicts aired out.  But not now...

Our house is for sale and we are looking for other homes, which anyone who has gone through this knows that it is not easy but we are pushing ahead.  Hopefully everything will fall into place at some point in the near future so we can be under one roof.

The bright spot in this is my husband employment has been going well and it is hopeful that he will be made a permanent employee down the road, but even that process is designed to weed out those that don't work out so it could take another six months.  So we sit without health insurance and not able to count his income for mortgage purposes all  because he is not actually employed by the company. 

So as of today, we are a family separated, hurting and wanting to heal.  None of which is really being fixed at this point in time.  The condition of our family is not a priority for anyone other than us.  Statistics are against us succeeding, most families do not survive incarceration but I have not yet reached the point where I am willing to give up when it is because of conditions imposed by others and not of our own doing that it is in jeopardy.  It is by my faith and love for my family that I get up every day and do all the things that need to get done so that some where down the road this will all be in our past.