Yesterday was Mother's Day and though I had hoped to have this posted for Mother's Day, the best laid plans never happen. Busy with spring time sports, birthdays, and general life activities, I don't always get everything done when I want to, but it does get done...eventually.
Today I wanted to write about all those forgotten, super women out there. They are the moms that get up every morning and begin their day by putting everyone else first. Breakfast, fixing hair, making lunches or coming up with lunch money, reminding everyone what they need to take, and making sure they all get to school on time. Then taking the time to get yourself up and ready to tackle another day. For me, that means seeing how many loads of laundry I can get done before I finally pull out of the yard and head of to work. (Work...the place where they actually pay me for what I do, not to be confused with home, where I work all the time with no compensation.)
Off to work, thinking about all the things that need to get done or accomplished during the day. Trying to fit as many things in during the day as possible. How many different messages do you get during the day reminding you that they need something or need to be somewhere? That might mean running to the store during lunch to pick up a few things that someone mentioned they needed just this morning or planning on trying to stop somewhere on your way home. But wait, you are not going home tonight. There are at least two games that you would like to go watch but can only really be at one. The game closest to home wins. If you are lucky you get home in time to eat something, notice I did not say dinner. Sometimes it is just a sandwich, leftovers or just a bowl of cereal. Homework, sign all the paperwork to go back tomorrow, clean up the kitchen (how can a kitchen that is not used get so messy?) and then it is already time to get ready for bed. Now is when you reflect on the day and I try to share all the events with the one person who is not here and would be the one person who would be here to help.
That is a typical day, but that does not include getting more laundry done, mowing the lawn, weeding the gardens, keeping things looking acceptable, grocery shopping, and all the other endless things that a mother is responsible for when dad is incarcerated. It is such a thankless job because children do not have any concept of gratitude. You are their mother and you fix everything so it is the most natural thing for them to just assume that you can and will do everything they ask. They have no idea what it takes some days to do all that they ask. But you are the Mom and somehow you find the strength and just get it done. I am told that someday they will appreciate all I have done for them during these most difficult time but in the mean time I will admit that a "Thank you" would be nice once in a while without having to remind someone to say it. A child does not realize that there is a world outside their own scope of vision so they do not see all that we are feeling and experiencing. They do not understand the sacrifices that we make every day just so that they can continue living and being as they always have or at least how they think they should.
It is all those special women who hold their families together, be both a mother and a father, fight to keep their families connected, strive to keep their children on the right path, stand up in the face of public scrutiny, face judgment from other people but do what needs to be done, make their lives appear normal to an outsider and find the strength every day to get up and do it all over again that make me proud to be a part of that class.
Only someone who has worn those shoes can fully understand what it is like to be the wife of an inmate and have to keep going alone so it is all those women that I salute. Being a mother is hard enough without all the extra things that come with this package, but they are the strongest, kindest, and most loyal people I know and I would love to count any one of them as my friend.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Amen! I am right there with you. Sometimes I wonder if I can go on just one more day. But, I have to do it. I have to do it if not for me, for my daughter. It is so unfair. I didn't sign up for this. I still have a husband, but where is he? So far away it seems he doesn't even exist anymore. People never ask about him. If it weren't for the phone calls and email, I would feel like a widow. I just want my life back! But, will it ever be the same? No, life for us will never be normal again. But, with God's help, we will reach "A New Normal."
ReplyDelete- jill.spinks@yahoo.com
I agree completely about feeling like a widow. Sometimes it seems like he never existed. Occasionally some people do ask about him and I am so excited to actually talk about him with people that I think I tend to go overboard with information. But when people ask, I have hope that there are still people out there beside me that care how he is.
ReplyDeleteWe are a special group of women who have experienced and learned so much more than most about the highs and lows of life that things can only get better for us all.