Life Can be Good Even with Someone in Prison

I really wish I understood the way a human brain functions, or better yet, the way our emotions ebb and flow everyday.  Why are some people happier by nature while others are in a permanent state of grumpiness? 

I hit a rough spot for the past few weeks even though I could not really put my finger on what was causing it or what I could do about it, then I realize that I am feeling better again and still no idea why.  Things are certainly not better this week, I am still holding things together on my own and truth be told, in some ways things are worse.  My brother called to say that my dad is deteriorating quickly now and it looks likes nursing care is in the very near future and I will be attending a funeral of a friend's grandson who was only 6. 

Is it because we can look outside ourselves and see that there is always someone experiencing something worse?  But I have always known that because of the relationships I have made over the last few years and because people have told me that my experiences are "what they think of when they are thinking of the worst".  I disagree, my life is filled with joy, happiness and living. 

I will admit that my life has been in a seemingly endless state of change, and maybe that is why I hit my slump, things did not change, I was emotionally in a rut.  I am not talking about earth moving change, just small things that remind me that things are always moving forward.  For the most part, things have been moving in a positive direction and when nothing changes it means we are not moving forward.  Just like a plateau when you are dieting, it is a time to regroup, re-evaluate and consider new options to keep making positive changes.

Each day is not a day without us as a whole family, but each day is one day closer to when we can be a whole family once again.  One day closer to our next visit, when we can sit and try to catch up on a whole years worth of activities and changes.  One day closer to the ultimate release date and a whole new set of experiences when he will come home again.  But each of those days has an inherent value in and of themselves.  Each day is one day more I can spend with my kids, looking at colleges, attending sporting events, laughing at their silliness and just enjoying being in their company. 

Each day is a new opportunity to discover how great they are as people.  Learning their kindness and observing moments when they truly shine, not when they hit the home run or make that great catch, but in the quiet moments without an audience that I see them touch someone else's heart with a kind word or a selfless act.  My heart fills with pride and an overflow of emotion, I am so overwhelmed that I am left speechless.  I do make sure that I tell them how proud of them I am, and have seen subtle hints from them that they are proud of each other.

Maybe it is in these small moments that my spirits are lifted and I am also renewed.  I am succeeding, all the work, effort, exhaustion and determination is for a great cause.  If I ever feel the need to question how I am living this life I need only to look at the three blessings God has put in my care to know that life is good.