Lessons of A Lifetime

There have been so many lessons that I have learned over the last few years that I sometimes find myself sharing those lessons with friends who are going through their own difficult situations.  When we find ourselves in the middle of a series of life changing events, we don't measure then against what someone else may be going through, we just feel that this is the worst thing that could happen and no one could really understand our feelings.  You can't look at someone and say that my life is worse than yours, it just does not work out that way.  However, the lessons that we learn from our own experiences can be a tool that we can share with others, in the hopes that their burden can be lightened. 

Recently a friend of mine found himself in a very bad situation with his wife and family.  His wife decided she was tired of being a mom and left the family.  My friend has been struggling with his love for his children and the daunting task of now being a full time parent and full time provider.  On top of that he is trying to find the best way to deal with his wife and her relationship with the family.  He is a strong man and I have no doubt he will succeed in ways that he can not begin to see right now but in the meantime he is full of anxiety over his life.  It is here that I have been able to offer some of the things that I have learned in my own personal journey. 

We can share stories of our own feelings of inadequacy, but understand that we still have to get up every morning.   I can now assure him that at some point in the future, things will be good again and he won't remember the exact day that things improved, he will just notice it one day.  Getting through it one day at a time it the best approach and not to worry too much about tomorrow.  Things will eventually work out. 

Forgiveness is a daunting process but one that is worth it for his health and sanity, and worth more than staying angry at those who wronged us.  We think we get more from being angry but in reality the anger only affects us and not the intended target.  It is one of the hardest things to work through but so worth it.  No baggage to carry and you will find that you can wake up with a smile. 

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of how much you are loved.  If there are people in your life who want to help, that is a sign that people believe that you are worth their time and attention.  Don't think that you have to do it all by yourself to prove that you can succeed.  Our friends and family offer their support, take it.  It may be a humbling experience but a gratifying and wonderful one at the same time. Some of my greatest moments have been linked to someone else reaching out a helping hand. 

In working through our own problems we find ourselves as role models and inspirational to those around us.  We don't realize it but everyday, people in our lives are watching how we live our lives and make choices based on what they learn from us.  They may never say anything to you, but know that you are being an inspiration to someone, even if it is our children. 

I have come to believe that we learn the most valuable lessons in life in times of adversity.   These difficult times are when we are shaped and molded in the adults that we are intended to be.  Sharing these gifts are just another way to pay it forward.