The holidays have past and we have reached a point where life has finally settled into a routine that is now normal for us. I am the sole parent of 3 happy and healthy teens and pre-teens who spends most of my time working and tending to their immediate needs.
There are some fun spots along the way and moments that I will not trade for anything. I have been given a great gift to experience a sense of pride that I may never have otherwise felt. I had the opportunity to take the kids downhill skiing for the afternoon and we had a great time, lots of laughs and no tears. I, ME, saved and planned for the day. It was my dime and I was the one who got to see the appreciation and smiles and laughter on their faces. To think that I was able to give them something that would bring them such joy is a feeling that I will always treasure.
Then I finally bought my first car. It is a used car, but I picked it out and I paid for it (no car payments) and I am responsible for it. I paid the insurance, cleaned it and had to put on my own registration sticker and my own license plates. These may not seem like a big deal to some, but for me it is a giant step forward for me and for my family. It is a sign that life is still moving forward and the path ahead is a little brighter.
I still come home everyday looking for that letter in the mailbox and wait for one of the 3 phone calls I get a week but that too has become part of my routine. Nothing is a bigger surprise than getting an unscheduled phone call at some unusual hour. Hearing his ring tone during the day used to send my heart into my stomache, thinking it was bad news, but now I look forward to the surprise calls and the unexpected pick me up it might give.
My dad's health continues to decline but it seems to be by his choice and it is evident that he misses my mom. I spend as much time with him as possible and always remind him that I love him, what else can I do. I have learned to value the time you have together, make the most of every minute, because you do not know what tomorrow brings.
Not sure I would ever choose the road that I am currently on, but I am making the most of it and growing as a person. Becoming more independent, but at the same time learning to ask and accept help from others. Loving and realizing who the wonderful people are in my life brings warmth to my heart. What an adventure, and who knows what the future holds.
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It is so uplifting to hear you talk I wish the girl I know who is going through the same thing you are was half as together with her and her daughters life as you seem to be but then she would have to grow-up and that doesn't seem to be happening so if it's not too out of line(since we don't know each other) I would like to say I am proud of you for stepping up and taking charge of your life. May God Bless you and your family you are someone others should be looking up to.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear from you. Good for you on all your decisions!
ReplyDeleteJD
I've only read a few entries of your blog and it was like looking into a mirror of my own feelings. My husband was arrested last September a week after my mother's funeral, and it's been a nightmarish roller coaster ride ever since. Thank you for helping me see that I'm not alone. Best wishes to you and your family.
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