One thing I have learned during the adventure I call my life and continue to remind myself of during the incarceration is of the things I have to be thankful for. Two years ago when everything around me seemed so bleak and dark I would have never believed that I would be sitting here with a never ending list of things to be thankful for. The added benefit for me, is that I am aware of what I am thankful for everyday, not just during the holiday season.
I am thankful for the gift of gratitude that I have been able to experience and learn. Very few people will every experience it in a way that is life changing and moving. I would have never believed that experiencing gratitude would be such a gift and bring such joy to my life.
I am thankful for the wonderful friends who have supported me since the beginning and have now cemented themselves in my life. They are considered family more than friends.
I am thankful for the new friends that I have made since this life changing event. We were brought together by a common circumstance, without which we may have never met each other. They have become just as important to me as those people I used to consider my friends until they showed their true colors and walked away when I needed them most. My new friends demonstrate the character traits that are role models for us all. God showed me the errors of my old thinking and judgment when the old friends showed their true character.
I am thankful for the extended family that has stood by me and been a source of joy and happiness. They have been a shoulder to cry on occasionally, but I believe that they are my comedy relief. They give me the moments of laughter that make me realize that life has not ended and things will be better.
I am thankful to a co-worker who has consistently helped keep my head above water financially. Although I am getting better handling things on my own, he has stood been there to offer an extra dollar when necessary. Again this year for Christmas, he made sure I had extra money to get the kids some really nice Christmas gifts. I can only say thank you and will probably never repay him, but he does not expect to get repaid, that is why it is so special. I can only hope to repay the kindness to others in the future by paying it forward.
I am thankful that I have three healthy, beautiful and intelligent children, who barring the solid upbringing and years of a solid family background, might not have survived as well as they have. It is a testament to their family strength and their own strength of character that they continue to thrive and become great individuals.
I am thankful for my faith and for the strength that I draw from knowing that God has a plan. I may not know His plan for us all but I am prayerful and obedient in the steps I take to fulfill it.
I am thankful for the Hope that comes with each passing day. Each morning that I wake up is another day closer to finding us a family again. Each day is an opportunity to be a role model to others and to find joy in the small things that I used to take for granted. Hope that sometime in the future we will have moved beyond all the tragedy and can look to the beauty of the world ahead.
I am thankful for a husband who is working hard to do everything he can to come home as quickly as he can. He is working to change his life and his thinking for the better of all of us. He has so much more good in him to offer to the world, that I am willing to wait and see him soar.
I could go on with more but these are the most important ones and I challenge you all to really look at your lives a decide what are you really thankful for. I keep a notebook with a list of those things, events and people that have touched our lives in a special way so that I can occasionally look back and offer a prayer of thanks.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Being A Single Parent is Easy, Being a GOOD Single Parent is Hard!
One day when I was feeling completely overwhelmed with all my responsibilities and admittedly feeling a great amount of self pity, I was confiding in a friend about how stressed I was. What did all those other single parents out there have that I seemed to be lacking? There are so many single parents out there that seem to float through their days without spending even one second stressing out, and here I was pulling out my hair, crying and struggling to figure out how I was going to make it all work yet again. Then my friend looked at me and said "being a single parent is easy, but being a good single parent is hard, and you are a good parent."
WOW! That was one of my "ah-hah" moments. I stopped dead in my tracks and started mulling over what he had just said. He was so right! Being a parent would be easy if I did not care about where my kids were, that they were getting good grades in school, who they are hanging out with after school, making sure there was good food to eat at home, and just making sure that in general their lives were pretty normal.
It is all the other stuff that seems to stress me out. Making sure they get to all the activities that they want to participate in and still getting all their necessities covered becomes a juggling act. I make sure that I am there to watch them in as many events as my schedule would allow. I may miss one game to watch someone else's but they always know which events I will be at and which ones I have to forgo. I hate having to choose, sometimes it is the distance of the drive or the time that dictates which event I get to attend, but I try to spread myself around and attend as many for each of them as possible.
Some might say that I let the kids dictate our lives and schedules with their activities, but they are people who have never felt the joy of a parent as you watch the pride and sense of accomplishment on your child's face when they just had an awesome win or played a great game. The sense of pride you feel when they look for you in the bleachers and smile when they see that you are there. They learn so much from their other activities that to not let my kids participate would do more harm than good. They learn to be part of a team (or family), they learn to win and loose, they make friends outside their normal school circle, they learn responsibility, dedication and hard work. They learn to respect their teachers, coaches, officials and teammates.
Could all these things be taught without all the activities, I don't know. But I do know that as a single parent, I will take all the help I can get to help turn great kids into fine, young, happy and healthy adults.
I have been blessed with my children and I will do whatever it takes to help them grow into great adults. I have seen hints that all that I am doing now is making a difference in their lives. They may not always admit it, it is not cool to say you want your mom to be there, but they do look for me and can not wait to tell me all about it, even if I was there and saw everything. I am told that someday they will appreciate everything I have done, so in the meantime I will take what little crumbs I can get and sit back and enjoy the fruits of being a GOOD single parent.
WOW! That was one of my "ah-hah" moments. I stopped dead in my tracks and started mulling over what he had just said. He was so right! Being a parent would be easy if I did not care about where my kids were, that they were getting good grades in school, who they are hanging out with after school, making sure there was good food to eat at home, and just making sure that in general their lives were pretty normal.
It is all the other stuff that seems to stress me out. Making sure they get to all the activities that they want to participate in and still getting all their necessities covered becomes a juggling act. I make sure that I am there to watch them in as many events as my schedule would allow. I may miss one game to watch someone else's but they always know which events I will be at and which ones I have to forgo. I hate having to choose, sometimes it is the distance of the drive or the time that dictates which event I get to attend, but I try to spread myself around and attend as many for each of them as possible.
Some might say that I let the kids dictate our lives and schedules with their activities, but they are people who have never felt the joy of a parent as you watch the pride and sense of accomplishment on your child's face when they just had an awesome win or played a great game. The sense of pride you feel when they look for you in the bleachers and smile when they see that you are there. They learn so much from their other activities that to not let my kids participate would do more harm than good. They learn to be part of a team (or family), they learn to win and loose, they make friends outside their normal school circle, they learn responsibility, dedication and hard work. They learn to respect their teachers, coaches, officials and teammates.
Could all these things be taught without all the activities, I don't know. But I do know that as a single parent, I will take all the help I can get to help turn great kids into fine, young, happy and healthy adults.
I have been blessed with my children and I will do whatever it takes to help them grow into great adults. I have seen hints that all that I am doing now is making a difference in their lives. They may not always admit it, it is not cool to say you want your mom to be there, but they do look for me and can not wait to tell me all about it, even if I was there and saw everything. I am told that someday they will appreciate everything I have done, so in the meantime I will take what little crumbs I can get and sit back and enjoy the fruits of being a GOOD single parent.
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