Returned from our visit/vacation all in one piece. Spent about 8 hours with my husband over the course of two days and spent the rest of the time enjoying a mini vacation. After 6 days on the road with 3 kids all I have to say is " Why would anyone choose to be a single parent?" I was more stressed out on the ride home than I was on the way down. Don't misunderstand me, overall we had a really nice time and everyone had fun...but!
It is the natural being of teenagers to complain about everything, the color of the hotel, the kind of lawn mower they use, the traffic, the food, the rooms, the size of the hotel, too sunny, not enough sun, too hot, too cold and on and on. And yet after all the complaints I knew they were actually enjoying themselves and having fun. Why can't they tell me that they had fun, thank you Mom, the food was good and we enjoyed the beach.
My nerves were raw by the time we headed home because I kept trying to tell myself that this is how they are, they really can't help it. Unfortunately the top blew off the bottle in the car over the last hour drive. I needed to vent and that was the end of the vacation.
I missed my husband on vacation for a number of reasons but one of the main ones was to help absorb all the "teenager vibes" and direct them over two people instead of just one. Thinking of a sponge, two sponges will absorb the same amount of liquid as one but not get as wet and heavy. I needed someone to share the weight.
I missed having him there just to share time and in the decision making. You don't realize how many decisions you need to make while on vacation, like which hotel to stay at and where and what to eat for dinner. You pick the wrong dinner choice and then you get to listen to the complaining all during dinner. Don't ask the kids what they would like for dinner because they will just say "I don't know" or "I don't care" but pick the wrong one and you will here about it. Ugh!
Traveling with three kids as a single parent, I guess, is not any more fun than living with them everyday as a single parent. When people give up so easily on marriages and opt for the life of a single parent it still amazes me. I understand that for some people it is necessary, but I know some people personally who just quit when things got a bit too hard. In my opinion, being a single parent is so much harder than working on a marriage that I would take the marriage any day. Sure, there is some one to share the joys with but better yet, there is someone there to share all the burdens.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Every Family goes to Prison for Vacation
In two short days we are headed out of town for our family visit with my husband. It is almost a 10 hours drive and with three kids, not an easy trip. Especially when they know that they will be spending their vacation behind barbed wire.
Trying to make it as memorable and upbeat as possible, I am hoping we can split the trip up and have some adventures on the way down and on the way home. Don't get me wrong, we are all very excited to see my husband, since it has been over a year since we were able to see him last, but the environment and cicircumstances still make the visits very difficult. Not every kid wants to go back to school in the fall and have their "what I did over summer vacation" include getting up at sunrise to be first in line for prison time, passing through metal detectors, sitting in a visitors room with other prisoners and their families and having to leave Dad behind yet again.
I have not told the kids about all the little side trips that I have planned because I want them to be excited about going and let them decide the ultimate destinations. Some of the stops are free (yes I did manage to find a few free activities), I have downloaded coupons for others (obviously not free, but trying to save pennies everywhere I can) and printed out lists of other things we can do as a family on our way to and from prison.
The prison is not too far from the ocean so of course that is one of the big destinations. We go there after the prison visit. It helps curb the disappointment and sadness when we have to leave him behind yet again. Thanks to friends and family I have a few extra dollars for some mad money to spend and hopefully for us all to eat well, have fun and make memories. Memories that will include visiting prison for 2 days and spending some time with Dad, even if you have to sit there for 4-6 hours just talking, it is still better than nothing.
Does this bother the kids? Not sure. I think it bothers some more than others, heck I would be lying if I said it did not bother me but we all manage to get through it. Will these be fond memories of the their childhood? Believe it or not I certainly hope so. Months of planning has gone into this trip so as to make it as vacation like as possible so I hope that we can all come home and be glad that we went and carry those memories of the whole trip with us until we can get back there again.
I am looking forward to the day when we can ALL take that family vacation together and not have to plan it around a Federal Correctional Facility. It would be nice to go to the ocean because we want to play in the waves and not because it is close to where Dad is locked up. Only two more summer vacations without Dad and then we can spend them together again. That was supposed to make me feel better! I guess it does when you consider we have two down already.
Trying to make it as memorable and upbeat as possible, I am hoping we can split the trip up and have some adventures on the way down and on the way home. Don't get me wrong, we are all very excited to see my husband, since it has been over a year since we were able to see him last, but the environment and cicircumstances still make the visits very difficult. Not every kid wants to go back to school in the fall and have their "what I did over summer vacation" include getting up at sunrise to be first in line for prison time, passing through metal detectors, sitting in a visitors room with other prisoners and their families and having to leave Dad behind yet again.
I have not told the kids about all the little side trips that I have planned because I want them to be excited about going and let them decide the ultimate destinations. Some of the stops are free (yes I did manage to find a few free activities), I have downloaded coupons for others (obviously not free, but trying to save pennies everywhere I can) and printed out lists of other things we can do as a family on our way to and from prison.
The prison is not too far from the ocean so of course that is one of the big destinations. We go there after the prison visit. It helps curb the disappointment and sadness when we have to leave him behind yet again. Thanks to friends and family I have a few extra dollars for some mad money to spend and hopefully for us all to eat well, have fun and make memories. Memories that will include visiting prison for 2 days and spending some time with Dad, even if you have to sit there for 4-6 hours just talking, it is still better than nothing.
Does this bother the kids? Not sure. I think it bothers some more than others, heck I would be lying if I said it did not bother me but we all manage to get through it. Will these be fond memories of the their childhood? Believe it or not I certainly hope so. Months of planning has gone into this trip so as to make it as vacation like as possible so I hope that we can all come home and be glad that we went and carry those memories of the whole trip with us until we can get back there again.
I am looking forward to the day when we can ALL take that family vacation together and not have to plan it around a Federal Correctional Facility. It would be nice to go to the ocean because we want to play in the waves and not because it is close to where Dad is locked up. Only two more summer vacations without Dad and then we can spend them together again. That was supposed to make me feel better! I guess it does when you consider we have two down already.
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