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Monday, September 14, 2009

What About the Family?

I have found myself spending numerous hours doing research on what help is available for my family and for others like me. Everyone agrees that the family of an inmate serves a sentence with the prisoner. If everyone agrees that that is the case then what is being done about it? I have been lucky enough to find free counseling for my children and reduced counseling for me. Working through the emotional issues with them has been great but do they really understand what I have to go through every day?

They can't tell me how to save more money this month to buy the birthday presents that are not in my regular budget, or how do you explain to people where your spouse is, or find that shoulder to cry on because they have been there and done that.

I have been referred to local ministers who never responded beyond an introductory e-mail, or been told that there is nothing local for me to attend. I have sent e-mail after e-mail asking for whatever advise they could offer. Don't get me wrong, I have received some wonderful books, e-mails, phone calls and support from a number of people but I guess I am looking for something more permanent, more tangible, more local, or more real.

There are support groups out there for everything including drinking, drugs, abusive spouses, illnesses, weight programs, smoking and the list goes on. Why hasn't someone been successful in putting together a group to help inmate spouses and their families. If you believe all the statistics there should be a large popultaion out there without a spouse or family member due to incarceration. I know that Ann Edenfield has started a Wings program in New Mexico and is trying to start something in other areas, and there are various websites out there that offer very good information and support like PrisonTalk.com but it has taken me months to find all this...why?

Now that I have put together this library of information, what do I do? I am not sure, that is something that I have to figure out and decide if I want to complain about the problem or be part of the solution. There is still so much information that I am finding out everyday, and yet I still have so many questions. More time doing research, sending e-mails and asking for help and only time will tell.

So how do I find that extra money for the birthday present?