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Monday, July 20, 2009

Can You Feel Unconditional Love?

We hear stories all the time about 90 year old couples who have remained together for 70 plus years, and we all know people who haven't survived one year of marriage only to get a divorce and move on to someone else. What is the difference that makes one couple stay in it for the long haul and another give up so quickly. Is it true love, unconditional love, or something deeper within the individual that gives them the courage to stick with it?

People still wonder why I am staying with my husband and truthfully I can not express in words why I have made that choice so far. Truth be told, my life would be so much easier if I walked away from him like so many others have, but something inside me is telling me that that is not what I need to do.

I wonder how many of us can say that there is someone out there who loves us unconditionally. Many of us would say that the easy answer is our parents, yet how many of us have a friend or family member who, for what ever reason, has disassociated themselves with a parent and their life is better for it. Don't forget that "toxic" family member that isn't happy unless everyone is miserable. So the question remains, do any of us know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally? I tell my children every day that I will love them forever no mater what they do or become, but can they feel that love? Does that love feel different for the recipient than the love a new boyfriend or girlfriend or even the love of a best friend? Or is it a love that can only be measured and felt when the 70 years have past and you are still together or the life changing event happens and you stand by that person. You stay with someone through the illness, or donate our own body parts so another can live, or stand by someone during the worst time of their life, is that the only time you feel that you are loved unconditionally?

I would ask my husband how that feels right now, does it make a difference in his life, to know that I have chosen (and yes it is a choice) to stay here waiting for him or does it feel the same? I am not sure how I feel, I don't feel loved unconditionally, because I wonder if he "loves" me now because no one else does right now. Is that something he can ever repay? Can he ever do anything to make me feel that same unconditional love, or the fact that that he stays with me as well, is my sign.

Too much time alone with time to think about things in a way that we normally take things for granted I guess. Only time will tell for me, but my wish for everyone is that they know that at least one person on this earth loves them unconditionally and forever.